Cows are delicious! They’re full of protein and vitamins that we all need to grow healthy and strong. Wait, that’s probably not how I should start out this article. How about cows are mind blowingly delicious. There, that’s much better. Now if I had to guess, and guessing is a good portion of what I do, I would say this cow is trying to either learn how to drive or escape. Most likely escape. It’s probably out smarted most of it’s kind and learned that it just won’t do good as a burger, no matter how delicious that burger may be.
I’ve never been held up in a car by a cow but from the looks of it, I’d say it must be entertaining. I mean first of all it doesn’t have to be a gun but that tongue is so long it might as well be used as a weapon. If hit over the head just properly there’s a strong chance you could suffer a concussion. Okay, maybe that’s being a little drastic but you get the general idea.
The cow most likely heard the sharpening of knives and heating up of the grill. He’d seen all his other family members be taken away and fed to the mass population. No way was he going out in such a cruel fashion. This was his time to jump off ranch Alcatraz and find refuge with a new family. Well I think they probably politely declined and he was captured and fed to the furnace. There is a chance he’s still around roaming over the land. Waiting for his next escape route. If you’re driving down a dirt road and see a cow peacefully waiting on the side of the road with his tongue out, he’s probably looking to hitch a ride.